WHAT I’VE LEARNED FIVE YEARS AFTER ADOPTING A MEDITATION PRACTICE

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by your mind.

Let’s talk about a common struggle—feeling like our minds are running amok, dictating our emotions and actions like an unruly dictator. Trust me, I’ve been there.  I want to share what I’ve learned in the five years after adopting a meditation practice.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve grappled with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), a label that felt like a straitjacket for my mind’s frantic dance. Even as a kid, my emotions weren’t just tantrums; they were overwhelming waves crashing against the shores of my sanity, leaving me stranded in a sea of fear and confusion.

As I grew older, those waves didn’t subside; they morphed into full-blown panic attacks, crashing into the shores of my teenage years, and carving deep scars into my psyche. By my 20s and well into my 30s, I was navigating treacherous waters filled with eating disorders and a slew of unhealthy coping mechanisms—all because I couldn’t silence the cacophony within.

But amidst the storm, I realized I couldn’t keep drowning in the noise. So, with a mixture of trepidation and determination, I embarked on a journey—one that involved taming the tempest within through meditation. Here are some of the lessons and observations I have thus far.

A mind constantly buzzing with self-doubt, fear, and negativity is like trying to sleep next to a construction site. The idea of tranquility felt like a myth, a tale spun in some far-off land where unicorns roam free.

Then came September 2019—a month that marked a turning point. After a whirlwind of emotions, triggered by life-altering events like losing a parent, tying the knot, and relocating to foreign shores, I hit a breaking point.

It was as if the universe had orchestrated a symphony of chaos, and I was the unwilling conductor.

EMBRACING MY MONKEY MIND

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

You know that relentless chatter in your head? The one that never seems to quiet down, no matter how hard you try? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. One of the first things I learned on my meditation journey is that it’s okay to have a “monkey mind.” It’s perfectly normal. Meditation isn’t about stopping your thoughts altogether; it’s about observing them without judgment.

Embracing this concept allowed me to approach meditation with a newfound sense of ease and acceptance.

THE POWER OF PRESENCE

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” – Eckhart Tolle

In a world that’s constantly pulling us in a million different directions, finding moments of true presence can feel like a rare luxury. Yet, through meditation, I discovered that presence isn’t reserved for special occasions—it’s available to us in every breath. By bringing my awareness to the present moment, whether through focusing on my breath, body sensations or sounds around me, I tapped into a profound sense of peace and grounding.

CULTIVATING COMPASSION

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” – Dali Lama

As I delved deeper into my meditation practice, I realized that it wasn’t just about soothing my inner turmoil—it was also about extending compassion to myself and others.

Through practices like loving-kindness meditation, I learned to cultivate feelings of warmth and goodwill towards myself and those around me. This shift in perspective not only softened the edges of my self-criticism but also fostered deeper connections with the people in my life.

FINDING SILENCE AMIDST THE CHAOS

“Listen to the silence. It has so much to say.” – Rumi

Perhaps the most profound lesson meditation has taught me is that amidst the chaos of life, there is always a sanctuary of stillness within. No matter how turbulent the external world may seem, I’ve learned to tap into this inner reservoir of peace and tranquility whenever I need it most. Whether it’s through a formal sitting practice or a moment of mindfulness in daily activities, I’ve come to cherish these pockets of stillness as precious anchors in a sea of uncertainty.

NAVIGATING THE EBB AND FLOW

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts

Amidst the suffocating grip of anxiety, I discovered the simple yet profound act of breathing. Each inhale became a lifeline, tethering me to the present moment, while every exhale released the pent-up tension within. With each breath, I reclaimed a sense of control—a small victory in the battle against my restless mind.

Life is a series of peaks and valleys, and meditation has been my steadfast companion through it all. Whether riding the crest of joy or weathering the troughs of despair, mindfulness has anchored me to the present moment, reminding me that amidst the chaos, there is always a sliver of serenity to be found.

STARTING MY MEDITATION PRACTICE (AND THE LESSONS IT HAS TAUGHT ME)

Starting a meditation practice might seem like a daunting task, especially for someone like me, whose mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts at a thousand miles per minute. However, embarking on this journey has been transformative, teaching me invaluable lessons along the way.

EMBRACING THE UNFAMILIAR

Initially, the idea of meditation felt alien to me. I resisted it for years, convinced that my racing thoughts made it impossible. However, hitting rock bottom with my anxiety and depression forced me to reconsider. As I leapt into meditation, I realized that sometimes the most daunting endeavours hold the greatest growth potential.

CONFRONTING INNER TURMOIL

Growing up with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), my mind was a battleground of overwhelming thoughts and fears. What others perceived as tantrums in my childhood were manifestations of severe anxiety that I couldn’t articulate. This internal turmoil followed me into adulthood, fueling eating disorders and destructive habits. Meditation became my refuge, offering solace amidst the chaos.

FINDING MEANING IN THE MUNDANE

Starting my meditation practice was anything but glamorous. It was messy, challenging, and at times, frustrating. Yet, amidst the chaos, I began to witness moments of profound significance. Through daily meditation, I opened myself to the universe’s subtle nudges, inviting synchronicities into my life. A simple encounter with a black, white, and orange butterfly affirmed my connection to something greater, reminding me to heed the signs that surround us.

The universe regularly sends us signs; however, we rarely look.

LIFE SKILLS MEDITATION HAS TAUGHT ME

Embarking on a meditation journey has been nothing short of transformative, unraveling profound insights that have reshaped my perspective on life. Through consistent practice, I’ve gleaned invaluable skills that extend far beyond the confines of my meditation sessions.

CULTIVATING PATIENCE

I stopped getting irritated with people who walked ‘too slowly’ in front of me at the train station… I didn’t throw the Christmas lights out the window when I tried to untangle them to put on the tree.

Patience has never been my strong suit. In a world consumed by instant gratification, I found myself perpetually chasing quick fixes and immediate results. However, as I delved deeper into my meditation practice, I unearthed a newfound sense of patience blooming within me. No longer did I succumb to frustration at the slightest inconvenience. Instead, I embraced the ebb and flow of life’s rhythm, finding solace in the present moment. Whether it was enduring the slow shuffle of commuters at the train station or untangling stubborn Christmas lights, I approached each task with a newfound sense of calmness and equanimity.

HARNESSING THE POWER OF MANIFESTATION 

I became focused on making deliberate intentions… and before too long, these intentions became reality.

Through meditation, I discovered the profound ability to manifest my desires into reality. Amid adversity, I resolved to channel my energy towards intentional thoughts and deliberate intentions. No longer shackled by self-doubt, I embraced a mindset of abundance and possibility. Whether it was securing employment or stumbling upon serendipitous encounters, I witnessed the tangible impact of aligning my thoughts with my aspirations.

EMBRACING SYNCHRONICITY

I am learning that I don’t need to put so much pressure on myself to know what I ‘should’ do and trust that I will make the right decision no matter what.

The universe speaks to us in whispers, weaving subtle signs and synchronicities into the fabric of our daily lives. Through meditation, I’ve learned to attune myself to these cosmic nudges, surrendering the need for control and embracing the flow of intuition. From chance encounters to serendipitous occurrences, I’ve come to recognize that nothing is random; everything unfolds with purpose and meaning.

CULTIVATING GRATITUDE

An attitude of gratitude is not bullshit… Gratitude is E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Gratitude is the cornerstone of a fulfilled life, a beacon of light amidst the shadows of discontent. Through my meditation practice, I’ve cultivated a profound sense of gratitude, shifting my focus from scarcity to abundance. Each day, I reverently pluck a token of gratitude from my ‘gratitude box,’ infusing my being with appreciation and contentment.

THE TAKEAWAY

While I regret not embarking on this journey sooner, I am grateful for the opportunity to integrate meditation into my daily life for years to come.

As I continue to deepen my practice, I am eager to explore its endless possibilities further. Keeping a meditation journal, allows me to chronicle my experiences and reflect on the myriad benefits that meditation brings. I’m excited to witness the continued evolution of my meditation journey, placing a renewed emphasis on embracing conscious awareness and living mindfully.

Are you ready to embark on your meditation journey? What insights and transformations await you on the path to inner peace and self-discovery?